From today guests planning to visit Walt Disney World or Universal Studios Florida will have to show an above 100 IQ test result before entering the park. A new state mandate requires people to have at least an average IQ before visiting public locations, such as restaurants, libraries, museums and theme parks.
Park goers who can’t show a suitable IQ test result will be asked to leave, very slowly and with words even a toddler could understand. As a result of the mandate, parks are expecting drastically lower crowds and attract less annoying guests. Disney, Universal and SeaWorld, market leaders in Florida, have already announced they will employ extra security to strictly enforce the new mandate.
“It’s a welcome change,” says Bob Sharpe, director of resort operations at the Universal Orlando Resort. “With the new mandate we can finally ensure the highest enjoyment standard for our visitors. We expect queue times to drop significantly and are already scaling down our guest services division.”
Now that republican idiots are no longer able to visit Floridian theme parks, it is the perfect time for educated Europeans to travel to the states and visit some of the world’s biggest tourist destinations. Just be sure to wear a face mask outside the parks, as scientists are still unsure about the contagiousness of the “red state IQ”.
